Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I woke up this morning feeling crudy. My whole body feels like its been run over by a truck. I have less then a month before my procedure to shrink the fibroid tumors in my stomach but my mood this morning was bitter. My belly is swollen, my back hurts, my legs are killing me and my attitude stinks. Not the kind of blog you want to read is it. Its not the kind of truth I want anyone to know about me either.

I got mad when I opened the freezer and icecubes fell everywhere, even madder when I opened a new package of bread only to find it was already opened and needs to be returned to the store. Then I just chucked it. A few minutes later my husband walks out of the room to ask whats wrong and I tell him I'm having a bad day, that I'm sick of bad days and he just holds me and loves me while I cry. And I realize God is holding me, letting me release all the pent up stuff, getting me to a point that I can once again bring it to Him and leave it there. Tov wasn't mad that I was acting like a child, he just wanted to make it better, and he did. Just by being himself and loving me.

I was able to go out on the patio with my bible and my book "The Power of a Praying Wife". I sat and prayed for my attitude, for my pain. I prayed for forgiveness and thanked the Lord for the beautiful morning I didn't even see a moment before. I prayed for God to help me to change today, I know He doesn't want to see me failing so easily, that I am to rest in Him and this morning I was falling. And yet He loves me anyway. Does it really get any better than this? It does, on top of His provision and Love and support and the people He uses everyday in our lives we have the promise of heaven. Of living forever in His presence.

What was my problem this morning? I can't even remember.


  1. Sis, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I love how you share about your hubby, isn't awesome how comforting they can be even in our worst moments. Yes, just as if God was hold us and telling us it's going to be ok. I will be praying for you and you know i'm here if you ever need prayer or just someone to talk to. God Bless you ♥
    Paty Nava

  2. Thank you Paty. You know sometimes it hurts but its always ok because of God. It has made me more sensitive and loving and patient. Prayer is always good for me, thanks again.

  3. Thanks for sharing your raw, true life with us, Christine. I love that quality in you.
    I hope and pray you are feeling better and will continue to do so. I will put your name on our prayer roll. It works. I know it does.
    I love you cousin. Please take good care of yourself, and know everything is in the Lord's time, not ours.
    Love love love you!