I just reread my post from October of last year. It ends with being excited to see the next chapter in life. And that chapter so far is a wonderful one. I haven't written in a long time, not for lack of things to share, I just haven't had the time.

God is moving so much in our lives. He's teaching me to wait on His timing, a lesson that I am very greatful for. I'm learning to be happy with what I have and not to covet more. Which honestly hasn't been hard. My goodness, He has given me so much and I am so undeserving and overwhelmingly praisefilled for. This man that is now my husband has taken on the role of father and husband with such care and deligence. His love for us overflows in everything he does. Even when working overtime he takes time to come home and have dinner with us, even though that means working longer. We cry together and pray together, we hold each other and love together. I have never felt so taken care of and warm and secure. To the Lord be all the praise. He has formed this man into one extraordinary husband and father.

My baby girl (yes, she'll always be my baby) has adjusted so well too. You can see that she now has security too. She adores her dad, loves to share her day with him, even when she's knows she didn't respond right in a situation at school, even in the midst of trying to cover it up by making light of it, still she opens her heart because she trusts him with everything. Her heart has flourished and grown in the past eight months as she has experience the love of an earthly father that she could only pray for in the past. Again, all glory to the Father. He has answered above and beyond what either of us could have ever prayed for. And we prayed, believe me. Chrystal prayed for Octavio specifically to be her dad and God answered. Lord you are good.

Thank you Father for being the author of my life, no one could've written it better. Please bless others as you have my family and bring them to a point where their sight is not hindered by the darkness that life can bring. Father, may we all focus on your love and light and shine for all to see. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Amen!

This is a story I receive from a group we belong to called "Christian Surfers". This young man's story made me cry and made my heart swell at the same time. Praying it does your heart the same and more...


12-28-09

Micah Ramsey's Message

Another New Year is around the corner. In 2010 what will be your focus? Where will your priorities lie? Take your lead from 15 year old Micah Ramsey (who takes his lead from Jesus). Micah has been battling Ewing’s Sarcoma – a rare and aggressive cancer. His words were published on the front page of his local paper and are repeated here.



“We as Human beings were created by God to worship and glorify HIM. It is what we are designed to do. God also has had a plan for us since before we were born. Apparently one of His plans for my life is that I am to fight cancer. This is so that I can glorify and serve Him in some way. I don’t know what this way is. What He is doing, I’m sure, my simple mind cannot fathom. God is all-knowing and I am not. He is going to be GREATLY glorified through me fighting cancer. Not because I’m some great person, but because He is a great, mighty, and totally awesome God. God has my life in His hands, and He can do whatever He thinks best. I know this sounds like the best “churchy” answer, but I want you to know that this came straight from my heart.

Yes, I am not comfortable, I hurt, I’m not sleeping very well, but God is doing what He needs to do through my life. People are being drawn closer to God through this; His will is being done. That is the most important thing right now. I will endure pain for Him; He has endured the ultimate for me. The Lord is working through all this and HE WILL BE GREATLY GLORIFIED!!!!”

-On Dec 10 Christian Surfers sent an email to Micah to encourage him that his story would be going around the world through CS and that it would bless and challenge many. His Dad said that it put a huge smile on his face and he said, "I told you God was going to use this cancer for His glory." That was the last email he read. On Dec 12 Micah went home to be with his Savior.

Moving day! In all honesty its been moving "week". I used to be able to do so much more. Now to avoid overdoing it everything is stretched out. Guess there's a lesson in patience there somewhere that I'm still struggling to get. Anyway, we spent last weekend painting. Just Chrystal's room and two walls in the dining area, a project nonetheless. I didn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to but we did it together as is everything in our lives now and that makes it special. But now as our date to be out of the old apartment approaches I am finding it hard to keep my eyes dry. I am definitely excited about our move, my life as a wife and mother, another chapter written by God himself. Yet, as I pack and remove photos off the walls I can't help but remember all the other chapters written here that make us who we are today.




Chrystal and I have been in this apartment since she was five (ten years). She went to first through sixth grade across the street. I still remember the last day of sixth grade, I watched her walk across the street from the bedroom window for the last time. Oh, I cried that day. She was growing up and I felt like I had missed so much already. She learned to swim in this pool. I still have it marked on the calendar the day she swam from one end to the other and the day she swam underwater to "touched the drain". When we first moved in she couldn't even touch the faucet on her own. I remember the day she said 'look' and I turned to see her hand stretching to show me she could finally do it.



We've had wonderful neighbors moved in and summers filled with playing down at the pool with everyone. Some of those same neighbors have moved out, all along promising to keep in touch. It never happens. Guess God has filled thier new lives too.




We were here when 911 happen. I remember holding her very tight that night, I think she even slept in bed with me when we could sleep.




We were living here when Tov and I started dating. In fact October 28 was the day that I told him I'd go on a date with him and today is the anniversary of our first date five years ago. Then the big one, just three months ago I walked out of this door a "Miss" and came back a "Mrs."




We've had broken teeth, a broken arm and a fall down the stairs here. We've had laughter and tears, arguments and forgiveness. So much love has flowed in this place. Christmas', Thanksgivings, birthday parties!




I had my back injury and two years off of work in this place. Two years with no income. Ten years as a single mom struggling back from a life of addiction and stupid choices, wanting more then to live for just today. And that was the one that got me this morning, I found God here. Through it all, He has been with me. Even in my unbelief He stood beside me. I still remember the day I believed again, I was in the hallway when I heard God speak and fell to my knees with tears streaming down my face in shame and then gratitude. And through this memory I realized that not only did Chrystal grow up here, I did too. The realization of how deep God's love is brings me to see how much I need and depend on Him. How the Lord alone has carried me all this time. And I can't wait to see how these next chapters unfold.

Winter weather, coffee good,
warms my insides like it should.
Starbucks counter near I stand,
with some money in my hand.
Quiver as my turn draws near,
cookies and muffins, I tremble with fear.
Just coffee is all I need,
my sweet tooth I shall not feed.
One minute then I'm free,
but a scone under glass my eyes do see.
Excape is useless from this crutch,
coffee and scone I love too much.

"As One"

This has been amazing. So different from anything you can imagine. Everyone keeps asking us how it is to be married, or how's things are going. And its all good but very different in a good way. It's hard to explain. Marriage feels magical. When God says you are joined as one flesh, you are very literally one. And you just don't know until you are experiencing the miracle. I can't wait to see what years of knowing one another will bring. How much more deep and intimate our relationship will become. I knew this man loved me with all his heart, but I am ashamed to say I didn't know his heart was this enormous. I would've never dated him had I not known how precious his heart was and his love for the Lord. Never could I have dreamed it was this intense. I feel so warm and taken care of, peaceful and protected, comforted and whole. Oh my goodness, how can I ever stop praising God for this joyfulness He alone has given to us. It's only because of Jesus' love for us that we are able to love in return. Wow! I am left speechless just looking at my life right now, especially compared to where I've been. Only the true love of our creator could bring such...fullness in my soul. Thank you Father.

How do I share my excitement? I am five days away from being join as husband and wife to the man I prayed for. Its almost like I told God what I was looking for and He molded this man into that and more. How do I declare what God has done for me, how He is blessing me, how He is knocking my socks off as we speak? I have no misnomers about how tough marriage can be. I've been watching others and studying God's word for the answers. My biggest fear is that I will disappoint this man I love, even disappoint Jesus my savior in how I treat my husband. My love had some good insight into this, he told me its guaranteed that we will at some point let each other down, but that fear is good. It shows we care deeply for one another and for the Lord.

Father, may we always look to please you. Not wanting to please our own desires but to do your will alone. May loving one another the way you have intended all along be so fulfilling we desire nothing else. Lord, bless this week ahead, our plans, our family, those attending and those who can not make it. Our fondest wish and hope is to glorify you in all that we do. May others see that in our actions, may we be quick to see our failings, quick to ask for forgiveness and even quicker to forgive. Father, I can hardly sit still. Please also help me to work well this week, to work as though I was working for you and not for man. I can never thank you enough, and yet you bless me just the same. Use me today, may any interuptions to my days and plans be those of opportunity to share your truth. Prepare my heart to receive all that you have to give. Thank you Lord. Amen.

1' "Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter." 1 Peter 4:16.

Perhaps the greatest secret of the saints of old was-
- their ability to praise God amid the afflictions of life.

Saint Francis de Sales-
- once wrote to a friend who was undergoing stresses at home, saying:

"The many troubles in your household will tend to your edification, if you strive to bear them all in gentleness, patience, and kindness. Keep this ever before you, and remember constantly that God's loving eyes are upon you amid all these little worries and vexations, watching whether you take them as He would desire. Offer up all such occasions to Him; and if sometimes you are put out and give way to impatience, do not be discouraged, but make haste to regain your lost composure." '


This is great! God never told us bad stuff won't happen. But what He does want from us is an attitude in our heart and our outward actions that say, 'Things stink right now, but I know that God is in control and that means I'm going to be fine." God doesn't want us to hide that fact that tough times are with us either. How is anyone else going to know that tough times happen to Christians too. Its just that as believers in Christ we should have a hope of better things to come, a look about us that's not stressed out but trusting that our God is bigger than our problem.

When I had a back injury and was suffering through alot of pain a wonderful friend put it this way for me, she said that God uses our situation to show others how they should act in similar situations. That just freed me up so much. Instead of being struck down with an injury God was using me. Me of all people, to be an example to someone else. That is how we glorify God. Not by hiding our failings, not by saying we're ok when we're not, instead by going through it with grace and tact and humility knowing that God has such a bigger plan for us than we know.

I believe it is in James that the bible says to count it all joy when trouble comes. That's because we tend to see the trouble and not the lesson, we feel the pain and think there is no end. And that's ok too, but after you find yourself on this path...dust yourself off and walk forward toward the light. God doesn't love your neighbor more than you, He loves us all the same. And the coolest part is that He loves the one who doesn't believe as much as He loves the believer. God is the author of our lives, what we see as trouble, the Lord sees as opportunity. Change your perspective and you can change your life.

1) Taken from "My Manna" July 4, 2009