Friday, October 30, 2009

Moving day! In all honesty its been moving "week". I used to be able to do so much more. Now to avoid overdoing it everything is stretched out. Guess there's a lesson in patience there somewhere that I'm still struggling to get. Anyway, we spent last weekend painting. Just Chrystal's room and two walls in the dining area, a project nonetheless. I didn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to but we did it together as is everything in our lives now and that makes it special. But now as our date to be out of the old apartment approaches I am finding it hard to keep my eyes dry. I am definitely excited about our move, my life as a wife and mother, another chapter written by God himself. Yet, as I pack and remove photos off the walls I can't help but remember all the other chapters written here that make us who we are today.

Chrystal and I have been in this apartment since she was five (ten years). She went to first through sixth grade across the street. I still remember the last day of sixth grade, I watched her walk across the street from the bedroom window for the last time. Oh, I cried that day. She was growing up and I felt like I had missed so much already. She learned to swim in this pool. I still have it marked on the calendar the day she swam from one end to the other and the day she swam underwater to "touched the drain". When we first moved in she couldn't even touch the faucet on her own. I remember the day she said 'look' and I turned to see her hand stretching to show me she could finally do it.

We've had wonderful neighbors moved in and summers filled with playing down at the pool with everyone. Some of those same neighbors have moved out, all along promising to keep in touch. It never happens. Guess God has filled thier new lives too.

We were here when 911 happen. I remember holding her very tight that night, I think she even slept in bed with me when we could sleep.

We were living here when Tov and I started dating. In fact October 28 was the day that I told him I'd go on a date with him and today is the anniversary of our first date five years ago. Then the big one, just three months ago I walked out of this door a "Miss" and came back a "Mrs."

We've had broken teeth, a broken arm and a fall down the stairs here. We've had laughter and tears, arguments and forgiveness. So much love has flowed in this place. Christmas', Thanksgivings, birthday parties!

I had my back injury and two years off of work in this place. Two years with no income. Ten years as a single mom struggling back from a life of addiction and stupid choices, wanting more then to live for just today. And that was the one that got me this morning, I found God here. Through it all, He has been with me. Even in my unbelief He stood beside me. I still remember the day I believed again, I was in the hallway when I heard God speak and fell to my knees with tears streaming down my face in shame and then gratitude. And through this memory I realized that not only did Chrystal grow up here, I did too. The realization of how deep God's love is brings me to see how much I need and depend on Him. How the Lord alone has carried me all this time. And I can't wait to see how these next chapters unfold.

1 comment:

  1. I can feel how you are feeling. That is how both Rey and I felt when we moved from Phelan. Ugh! It takes awhile for that feeling of loss to leave. It does (I promise), and your heart is filled with new, precious experiences that you would never want to miss out on either.
    There are many times that Rey has said,"I wish I could go back and hold each child when they were about 5 yrs old-just for 5 minutes." Mmmmm-the best! Life is ever evolving, and filled with more people and more love. And through that process we even become closer to God. Love you sweet cousin!