Sunday, February 14, 2016

My Valentine

How sweet it is to be loved by you...

Happy Valentines my love. Ive been reminiscing this morning.  Thinking about our journey thus far. Remembering the valentines before "us". The lonely days as a single mom. Remembering the hope I felt when we were dating. Looking forward to a life together. I felt like a couldn't wait to get started on the future. Many of those wonderful days wasted wanting.  Realizing now why our dating season lasted so long. Not knowing how much you were struggling in thought, if you would be what I needed.  If you could be selfless enough to be a husband.  Let me tell you, you are that and so much more.  You give me things I never knew I needed. In my little world before us, from hurt and fear, there are things I refused to see or want.  You've given me a safe loving home where I am free to  be healed and not afraid. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to seek the Lord in the leadership of our home.  I love how you pray over me every morning and how you want the best for me always.  You are everything to me and so much more.  I love you now and forever my sweetheart. Thank you Jesus for your timing  and helping us to wait on your will. Thank you for blessing me with a man that strives to reflect your beauty, someone to grow old with and someone who needs me as much as I need him.

I love you Octavio:)

PS I can't get the background color to change, maybe you can help when you get home, lol

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Choosing Love in the Aftermath of the San Bernardino Shootings

Something is bothering me. Something is bothering me and it’s not going to sit well with about half the people I know. It’s funny cause that’s what keeps me from saying anything , but then there’s this bible verse that keeps going on in my heart and in my head. It’s Matthew 10:21 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” So I will say it because I believe I betray you if I don't. I am seriously ashamed of the hate I have been seeing, or more accurately reading, since the shootings. Oh sure, some of it was there before that but it has definitely ramped up. Am I scared? Sure I am. I think it’s only natural to be frightened right now. But here’s the thing, this has been all around us all this time, we only become frightened when we are forced to take our blinders off. This is a fallen world, so the hate I see doesn’t surprise me. It does sadden me though. You know what saddens me even more? That there are people out there so love starved that a group such as ISIS could come along and change someone’s heart so quickly and brutally. I don’t see it as any different than the gangs preying on kids from broken homes with promises of a family that will take care of them. ISIS is just the extreme of that and really well funded. And that funding again is because there is such an emptiness out there that people are willing to help a cause with no real value. Emptiness from a life without God. And how are they ever going to know the love of God when we hate everyone we see with a beard or a head wrap. Again, am I scared? Sure I am but then there’s this verse in my head Matthew 5:46 “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?” I don’t want to love only when it’s easy. God has commanded a different attitude from me. Hey, Jesus laid His life on the line for everyone. Let me say it again, everyone. Who am I to choose who I should show the love of Christ to. Which brought me to this, Romans 1:16 “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.” Guess what? If you’re not jewish, you’re a Gentile. Me, you, and every white, black, Latino,Asian, Middle Eastern person is a Gentile. Who am I to choose who receives God’s love? God showed His love to me while I was a drunken, drug induced, murdering, fornicater. Who am I?!

Let’s face it, they are here. We can cower in fear, lash out in fear or take a chance and show kindness to each person around us. You never know what God has been doing in someone’s life. I have heard that on average someone hears about God 12 times before making a decision to follow Him. You don’t know if you’re their first contact or number 12. And if these people are so love starved that they could be taken in by gangs, by ISIS, by cults, hey they are just as loved starved and ripe for the word of God. So stop hating. You don’t have to open your home to Muslims or homosexuals or whoever is on your hit list. But maybe when you’re at the store and you see someone whom you’d otherwise turn away from you turn towards them and ask how they are doing and YOU can begin to turn this around. It’s not just their heart that concerns me, it’s ours. We can’t say we follow God and only include those that feel the same way, that’s not God’s way.

Finally, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing." They win when we hate. When we are so scared we stop doing the good works of God to all people, evil wins. When we are so afraid to speak up when we see or hear someone we love going the wrong direction, afraid to offend the person instead of being afraid of offending God, evil triumphs. Let us not think that just because we know the end of the story, that God prevails, we need not do anything. We are vessels to be used by God for His good works for His glory and not our own. May each of us step out in faith, in love and show God’s love to every corner of the world for Christ’ sake because He once saved a gentile like me and like you.

Just an afterthought, since I posted this morning I’ve seen many posts about arming and protecting ourselves; loving on people doesn’t mean giving ISIS a hug instead a bullet. I’m talking about the people all around you who, because of our fear in light of the shootings, you turn away from. Because of the hardness of your heart you become rude to. Someone is going to gain their loyalty. That’s a cold hard fact. And it’s up to us to present the gospel uncompromisingly to the world. A cold shoulder and a nasty word to someone you know nothing about is not going to win their heart to God.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I am not a Hater

I’m not a hater.  I believe in God’s definition of marriage.  I believe that no matter what you do or what laws you pass, whether it’s in the name of freedom or equality, that God, the creator of the Universe and all that is within it, defined marriage as between one man and one woman.  I believe that since the beginning of time man has tried to deny God’s existence by making our own rules, by fulfilling the desires of our flesh. And that fleshly desire is defiled by heterosexuals the same as homosexuals, by going against God’s design for our lives, by thinking that we know better than the one who made us.

I do not believe that disagreeing with you is hate.  It is simply not agreeing.

I also believe that whether or not you acknowledge that God even exists, He does.  And I believe that there is power in the name of Jesus, power to save.  May each of us come to a true knowledge of the one living God.  Knowledge of His love for our very souls, for our heart, and that His rules are not to keep you down, to repress you, but to set you FREE!  

Monday, April 8, 2013

Work Lessons

It was barely a week after "the big let down", as I call it, and my dad had me up on the roof helping him to re-roof the house.   I was hauling those huge bundles of shingles up a ladder and laying them down for him to nail.  Now that was work.  Real physical labor. It was that labor, sweat and muscle, that got me through one of the toughest times of my life.  

That type of physical labor is still what sustains me when I am running on empty.  When I say, "God I need you", He usually meets me on a walk or a hike, at the end of myself, when I am physically exhausted, He is there.  When I can no longer run except into His arms, there He is waiting.  And He waits patiently too.  He knows me so well, it is the Lord that says, "Go for a walk," because He alone knows where that takes me...straight to Him.   

I have come to end of myself mentally as of late.  Work has been a daunting reality that takes up every moment of each day.  Because even when I am at home, I am preparing for the next round.  Sometimes I can't even remember my name, seriously.  My mind has been stretched in a hundred different directions all at once, yet my body craves the physical exertion that will calm and sooth my mind.  

Today being another one of those days.  One of eight days remaining in this round.  I thought when I awoke that that fact alone would be enough to get me through, but it was not to be.  Again the Lord took a walk with me and showed me how caught up in the world my mind was.  And it was through that quiet time with Him that my soul was soothed and refreshed.  

These next few days will be crazy, then it will be over until next year.  There will be tears, there always are when overwhelmed, but the end is finally in sight.  Praise God for seeing us through and for knowing what I need.  For making a way and being there the whole time.  

Monday, March 18, 2013

A  day with my baby, hiking the back country of our beautiful San Gabriel mountains.  I have a love for the Crystal Lake area that I can't describe nor contain.  Maybe it's the time spent here as a kid, maybe it's the time spent here as a young adult.  Then maybe it's just the sheer beauty of mature pine trees, squirrels, gentle breezes and God's glory at its best here on Earth that make my heart sing. This place has it all and its where we spent our Saturday.  It took us two hours to walk the 2.5 miles from the parking area to Windy Gap.  Two hours uphill with nearly 2000' gain in elevation.  But it was worth every step.  Even today as my body is stiff from yesterday's exertion, my heart is still relaxed and singing of the joy felt as we reached the top.  Looking up toward our destination we could see snow still clinging onto the ridge.  Once we arrived, looking north, there were still plenty of snowy patches hiding from sunlight, in the shadow of those beautiful pine trees making its hold on spring, reluctant to see winter come to an end.  Plenty of cool strong gust of wind blew past us at the ridge refreshing body, mind and soul.  As it came time to head back down I understood all too well why the snow hid in the shadows.  Maybe if I hid away somewhere I too would never have to leave this place.

But my life isn't that of a snow drift, I have family, a husband, a daughter, a job...the job, that's what has me wanting to stay.  The job, the stress I am today escaping, awaits me on Monday.  Yet today is today, the day the Lord has made, for me to enjoy, to refresh in the rest of His Almightiness.  And the day the Lord has made also.  A gift of another kind.  Provision.  A chance to serve and share the Love My Lord has shown me.  If I were to stay I could declare the wonders of God and cry out with the rocks, that'd be glorious.  Yet, God has given me my job as a blessing.  An opportunity to love and share and bless in return.

We head down heart happy body tired and sparked with new drive and purpose.  Ready to hit the world head on, ready to bless.  God's opportunities are never far away, in fact for us they were waiting back at the parking area.  Lord you never cease to amaze.  First you ready my soul then you hand me a chance to give back.  Almost as if asking, "How much did you really learn?"

I hope I did not fail you Father.  Your blessing are so immense I never want to squander what you have for me, for other's who cross my path in life. Thank you for the chance to enjoy, bask in your Omnipotence, and then the moments you afford for us to give back by being of service to another.  Thank you for time with my baby, thank you for sending me home a more peaceful hearted wife, a gentler soul having met you on the mountain top.  My face always glows for a few days afterward reminding me of when Moses spoke to you on the mountain and your bright glory, unable to be looked at head on, made his face face shine.  That is me today, tomorrow and prayerfully forever, body, mind and soul.  Help me Lord to hold onto your promises throughout my week, to be a blessing, to share your mighty works, this beautiful life and your wondrous Son.  Amen.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Moving Day and a Shift in Our Daily Routine

This past weekend we moved our baby into a college dorm.  What an amazing experience.  Yes, I cried!  Her dad cried too.  More than a few times we were moved by the change that was/has/is taking place in all of our lives.  You fear that the right decisions will be made and you counter that fear with trust in God.  You trust that she's in His capable hands and that she knows her maker.  You trust that she is being molded by Him, our beautiful Lord and Savior, and through trials and mistakes her strength and bond will grow with our Redeemer.  You fear the world and it's pull on young untrained minds, then you remember who brought her to this place in her life.  It is only through much prayer and leading of the Holy Spirit that we made the decision to live on campus and where.  It is only by the grace of God that we have financially been able to handle the cost.  Where God leads, He provides.  It's a lesson we are all in the midst of having firmly bound in our hearts.  Thank you Jesus!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

My Weekend

California in January

This was our weekend.  We didn't go away, we were actually just a little ways from home.  We took a two hour hike Saturday and then after church the three of us drove for about an hour and took a four mile hike. I love living here.