Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It's amazing, I've been thinking alot about my past since the last post. And I am amazed at how we can forget from once we came. Remembering the homeless lady who helped me and how my heart had become hardened to such a one, then I was remembering all the nights I slept in a van because I had no bed, no home, because the choices I was making in my life left me somewhat alone. Not completely however, I did have family that loved me intensely yet refused to be part of or continue to enable my disfunction if you will. My life choice at the time was drugs, mainly speed/meth, but at some points lots of other drugs too. I find it strange how we can forget where we've been and no longer remember the lesson that was intended. We need to remember that the enemy wants to use any circumstance in our life to bring us down. Yet the love of God brings us to our knees by His grace and mercy. See even in my loneliest moments, I was never alone. The Lord was watching out for me and allowed me to make my own rotten choices because He had other plans. Plans to open my heart to share with others, plans to soften my heart to the trials of others, plans to grow my heart to the things of God.

I praise you Lord, love of my life, for being my father. For loving me enough to correct me, for the glory of the cross that washes my sins away. For looking at me and not seeing what I see, but rather what you want me to be. May my life be a reflection of that love.

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